it all starts
by MakatoMai
Summary: If it wasnt so damn nightmarish- it might be kind of artistic. BeckxCat


it all starts  
by:makatomai

summary: If it wasnt so damn nightmarish- it might be kind of artistic. BeckxCat

a/n: as a side note...this actually started with the intent of being a Cat/Andre but it kind of didnt end up that way. I myself, never expected to write a Beck and Cat, so if it sucks. Sorry.

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It all starts with a car accident.

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The music's blaring and Jade's hands are in the air, her hips swinging side to side (to the best of their ability in a strapped seatbelt)- The window's open and the self created wind has her brown hair whipping at her face. Beck smiles, widely and turns up the music a little louder as he catches Andre, Tori and Cat all dancing hips bumping in the back seat.

The world was their's. That's what he thought anyway.

But every good moment has to end sometime, and theirs happened to end with burning rubber, shattering glass, and simultaneous screams. The first thing Beck hears is crickets chirping- the first thing Beck see's is that everything's upside down. He lets his seatbelt loose and falls with a hard thud. He doesn't understand, and his thoughts just wont process completely.

And that's when he sees Tori, her body flung between the center console, blood oozing from her head.

"Shit!" Beck says running his fingers through his hair, blood staining his fingers as he searches for a pulse in an already dead girl. "Shit!" and tears are burning his eyes as he stares towards Andre's limp body.

Than his eyes catch the airbag, "Fuck!" He screams, fingers the rubble of his car (please let it still be there, please dear god- please) His fingers come up empty and hes fumbling to get out of the car and to the other side (because dear god, the airbags crushing _Jade)_

He's screaming and cussing and crying as he fights with the airbag to where he _knows _her body is. "Jade!" He's screaming and screaming until it sounds like a cursed mantra- begging for some type of response.

"Beck?" a soft voice from behind him calls, and there's Cat- red hair matted with blood and a pocket knife shoved into her thigh. "I-it hurts."

"Cat" Beck says and he rushes (to the best of his ability) scooping her up into his arms, blood staining his lips as he kisses the crown of her forehead. His brown eyes lock with hers as it drifts to her leg. "Cat…you love Jade right?" his voice is quiet- like he's telling her a secret.

It hurts so bad, her leg does, its like lightening bolts are zapping that one spot and circulating through her veins to make EVERYTHING hurt. But she nods, because she does love Jade. She loves Jade, Beck, Tori, Andre, Robbie- all of them. But…does that matter?

"You'd do anything to save her right?" His eyes are intense and his voice has more urgency in it. The memories flash through Cat's eyes so hard she has to close them. Dear god, they were all dead weren't they- but, Jade? Was she alive?

"Yes" Cat says and nods at the same time, because she's not sure how to do one without the other at the moment.

Than his hands wraps around the hitch of the blade softly, and he looks into her one last time. "Cat…forgive me okay?" and he yanks the blade from her tender flesh.

In a fluid movement of colors, blood rushes from the wound and a scream hurtles its way out of her throat and tears stain her face in a way the blood never quite could. She watches Beck's form rush over to the passengers side door, a bloody blade popping a big white marshmallow.

"Jade." Cat assumes, the previous conversation forgotten, before letting the pain consume her and letting stars form behind her closed eye lids.

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After a couple weeks Beck and Cat's body's are back to normal, only leaving the hospital with a few scars, Becks on the side of his head, and Cat's across her thigh.

"It doesn't seem quite right."

"What doesn't?"

"That we leave perfectly fine, and they die."

"Yeah."

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They stay out of school for a while, not together of course, neither one of them can quite look at the other one yet because there's always the thought of _I was driving _and _if the blade wasn't in my leg._ so they just stay apart, trying desperately to deal with what's eating at them.

_The forever present absence. _

The two of them walk through the doors at Hollywood Arts exactly three months from the accident, just in time to see the janitors and Lane prying off a keyboard, picking out scissors from a black locker, and scraping vigorously at _make it shine._

The vibrant red head is second from collapsing, tears already blurring her vision as Beck grabs her hand and drags her past the lockers.

She notices he cant hold her hand now without crushing her fingers.

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"Robbie's found a new group of friends." Cat comments at their lunch table, and Beck stares to the empty seat beside him (where Jade should be.) "He hangs out with Sinjin and his friends in the lighting department." her eyes drift around the very empty table.

"Two is defiantly lonelier than six." Cat says quietly, eyes dropping down to her salad.

"And they said one was the loneliest number." Beck says malice and despair dripping off every word.

"It still is." Cat says even softer, so soft she's not even sure she said it, but Beck doesn't hear her regardless, so it really doesn't matter if she said it or not.

.

Sikowitz is actually the one who breaks Beck- who drifts through school nonchalantly (like he's his regular old self, even if his words are slightly bitter now.) He tells Beck to play a zombie, and when Beck's face has no emotion, arms out-stretched, he goes on a tangent (that he really shouldn't have gone on)

"No Beck, for cripes sakes your not a robot, you're a zombie!" Sikowitz says throwing his arms around for emphasis "Pretend your angry! Furious! Like Jade!"

It's strange how such a small word four lettered word can bring someone Beck Oliver to his knees.

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It's raining when he comes over to her house for the first time- well, more like *in* her house for the first time. She watches him through cautious eyes as he stares up to her from her red bean bag chair on the floor.

"She loved the rain" Cat says absently.

"Storms mostly." Beck adds, his gaze drifting to the window. "I wish you wouldn't talk about her. Andre and Tori died to you know."

"I know." Cat says quietly, her words choking her. "Just…she was my best friend." She turns her eyes towards her flower printed bed spread, her fingers folding, unfolding, refolding- constantly moving.

"Think Andre would write a song about this, us- w-what happened I mean?"Cat says offering a small pathetic attempt at a smile, Beck is kind of scary now. "And Tori would sing it?"

"It's more like a song Robbie would write." Beck says running his fingers through his hair, his fingers skimming his scar. "And for some twisted reason Jade would like it."

"W-why are you here?" Cat says her eyes searching for him in the dark (but oh so bright) bedroom.

"…The RV still smells like her." he says, and Cat thinks he might cry.

Time seems to blur together, in a series of what was, what is, and what never will be, but they press their lips together anyway. Lightning lights up the sky.

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It's two days- later Beck asks her if she wants to hang out with him sometime.

Its five days after that Cat sees Jade.

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She's sitting in his RV wearing one of Beck's flannel shirts, and it's strange that the only thing she can think of is _did Jade wear this one? _She thinks in maybe another life- a different life, she'd be wearing someone else's shirt- like maybe Andre or Robbie's. She wonders if Tori ever had the opportunity to wear a guys shirt like this…she wonders until she feels kind of sick.

"Beck?" Cat says quietly, she's quieter around Beck- she's afraid it will hurt him if she rambles like she use too. She's afraid to be herself- so the words that she would usually say swarm around in her head like a bunch of angry bees.

"Hm?" He looks up from his guitar and Cat thinks he looks gentle, beautiful even.

Whatever question Cat was going to ask, its gets lost as she sits up on her knees- leans slightly off the bed and kisses him full on the mouth.

When she opens her eyes, the lights are out and she has goose bumps crawling up her arm.

"Did it cold in here?" Beck questions, getting up to fiddle with the light switch.

Cat doesn't answer, she's to busy watching Jade glare at her from the corner of the room.

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"Lane" Cat says sitting on the couch, twiddling with her hands. "do you believe in, you know, ghosts or something? Because sometimes when I'm alone- or with Beck, sometimes sometimes-"

(_stop talking Cat, he'll think your crazy…)_

"Sometimes, what Cat?" Lane questions, raising an eyebrow waiting for her to continue.

"sometimes…."

_( People don't hear ghosts Cat…let alone see them.)_

"Sometimes, I think I see Jade." Cat says, but her voice is less strong from when she started, because she knows- Jade's in there with her, even if, at this moment, at this time, she cant see her.

"Well, that's understandable." Lane says sitting forward in his hanging chair, just a bit. "Jade was your best friend. Have you seen Andre, or Tori maybe?"

"No." Cat says quietly. "Just Jade."

A smile brims his lips suddenly.

"Well, if anyone was going to haunt anyone, it would be Jade wouldn't?"

Cat stops listening after that.

.

Beck and her get into a heated argument, and just when Cat starts to think she's found her voice, he kisses her. Than they're making out against Tori's locker, the thought apparently forgotten by beck but burning holes into the back of Cat's closed eyelids.

"You miss her don't you?" Cat says after they break apart, she watches his face transform from calm, to angry, to devastated, to something relatively calm again.

He decides not to say anything, (just pretend it didn't happen, right Beck?) kisses her on the crown of her forehead, and walks away.

"She misses you too."

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She's sitting in her room, brushing her hair the next and last time she see's Jade. The dark figure with sharp amazing blue eyes, brown hair and blue streaks, sits directly in front of her- eyes not exactly glaring anymore. She's so clear, Cat swears she's right in front of her.

"If anyone…has to have him, I guess- Im glad at you."

Cat thinks Jade's voice shimmers.

"Jade…he misses you so much." and there are tears blurring her vision, making Jade less and less clear by the second. "I miss you so much."

A shimmer-y hand reaches up and touches a red lock, Cat cant feel her- but she watches as a strand of her hair moves, as if by magic, behind her ear.

"Will you take care of him Cat?" tears of black sparkle down a already sparkling face, Cat thinks Jade's the most beautiful angel she's ever seen. "You'll stop him wont you?"

"Stop him from what?"

But Jade's already disappearing.

"Stop him from what? Jade?" Cat squeals, rising to a stand on her bed, as if that will stop her. She looks down at her wrists and cringes at the little red lines that have formed there. She's not sure if she herself left the mark, or if Jade was leaving her a message of some kind that needed to be deciphered.

She just grabs her dad's keys off the end table, and leaves.

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Cat finds Beck in the bathroom of his RV, blood paints everything and if it wasn't so damn nightmarish- it might be kind of artistic. It was on the sink, on the floor, all down his wrists and arms- big clunks of it that looks like he spilled jelly all over the place. Cat would think it was if it wasn't for the heavy smell of iron- and you know, the fact _he wasn't moving. _

She rolls him over, in an attempt to, she's not quite sure what, but she's shaking him, and blood is staining her fingers, and than she's screaming- _beckbeckbeckBECK_

He opens his eyes, but she looks blurry.

"I killed them all you know." his voice is quiet- to quiet. "Tori visits me sometimes, she tells me all the things _she never got to do. _And Andre…Andre plays. He plays the sadest songs."

"B-beck."

"But..but" he gasps as if talkings to much effort, but he has to much to say and continues anyway "Jade never visits me. She never fucking visits me."

Cat watches as a tear rolls down his cheek, she's not sure if it's his, or her own.

"It's okay." Cat says pulling his arm over her shoulder, blood staining her neck, and running down her chest. She gets him into a sitting position and he groans.

"That stings." his eyes are closed again.

"We're going to get you to a hospital."

By the grace of god, Cat gets him into her father's car and buckled up. She gets in and starts the engine, hands shaking- mascara and blood staining her face.

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"How'd you know?" Beck says head pressed against the cool window "How'd you know that I was-am-dying?"

"Jade told me." Cats eyes never leave the road.

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It all ends with a car accident.

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End.


End file.
